That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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