Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They have beer where we have blood.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
