Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize