Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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