I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
