so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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