I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize