your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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