I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
