I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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