I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
