pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
