All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
