Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
