i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
