how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
