You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize