I wish I could teleport
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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