Apparently you make a good broom.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
