Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
