It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
