I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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