Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
