Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
