I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
