If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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