You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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