I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
