Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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