everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
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You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But break dance skills will only take you so far
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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