My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
