girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
