I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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