just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize