make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
