im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize