We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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