the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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