happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I licked your asshole in confidence.