Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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