is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its about making memories worth repressing
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?