that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year