I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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