I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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