how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
