why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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