its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize