Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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