I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
