you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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