I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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