she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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