careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
