can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize