before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
