i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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