One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
